Hello fellow film fanatics!
This is Agent Nate, jumping in at the last second to finish off the main bad guy that Agent Justin had nearly defeated if it wasn’t for the cruel betrayal of this episode’s love interest. Love Interests, amirite? Messed up…
ANYBOO this week is the Matt Smith number of movies hitting the theaters. Yep, 11 movies. Yes, I could have used a more user friendly reference and not left all the non-Doctor Who fans out in the cold, but I have to be at least THIIIIS much more annoying so that you long for loving word embrace of Agent Justin, but can at least tolerate my verbosity to the point that you’ll finish the assignments and and LET ME FINISH MY NAP.
On to the movies!
What’s It About? A criminal bides his time at a seedy motel, waiting for his boss after killing several men and making away with a mystery bag.
Nate’s Notes: I have no idea what’s happening in this story. Which is good. And I like John Cusack. He should always do more movies. (And some animated stuff, his voice is cool). But…. he’s using some Cusack Credit for this movie. Cuz I do not know if I wanna see this flick. The lead actress is not impressing me. She’s hot. She’s “exotic” (as the movie exec’s would like to stuff down my throat). But I don’t think she can act. I’m not sure. Just because a lady is hot, does not mean she can act. Heather Graham has taught me this lesson… repeatedly. So… watch at your own risk.
What’s It About? Revolves around a family struggling to maintain their well-to-do lifestyle in their overly materialistic New England community. Sedgwick plays the matriarch, who is more interested in appearances than for caring or showing affection toward her husband (D’Onofrio) and pushes him into a bad real estate deal.
Nate’s Notes: Okay, so the “Chlorine” part doesn’t show up for a while in this trailer. Why do some movies choose a title that has almost nothing to do with anything? I’d almost accept “Bad Deal” or “Banker Go Boom” or something more to the point or amusing. Or get crazy even! “High Hog Living In a Straight Bacon Wasteland.” I don’t know. Anyways, this flick looks okay. Got some good actors. Has a just a teensy weensy taste of Wes Anderson thrown in. Though do I really want to see a movie about people spending too much money and then they realize money can’t buy everything? Who knows, maybe this movie will surprise me.
What’s It About? The story of an unlikely friendship between a bear, Ernest, and a young mouse named Celestine.
Nate’s Notes: I am a sucker for this stuff. Quirky European animation, with that kind of hand-made, water color style? I like it. Cute little story about about a (possibly?) orphaned mouse becoming friends with a bear who’s probably an outsider in his own “culture”? Yes please. A very overt, yet respectable theme of acceptance between peoples? Why not? It looks, sounds, and seems sweet. I bet if this movie was an ice cream, I would eat it. Once, because I’m more a savory flavor loving dude, but at least once. For the sake of the children. (Also, Forest Whitaker is in this movie, too! Two movies for the Ghost Dog this week!)
And also, an animated movie that doesn’t look CGI’d to death, or a rip off of anime? I like to support that, too.
What’s It About? When 14-year old genius/outcast Eli Pettifog is rejected from Harvard, he ends up at Ivy League wannabe Whittman College. It’s hate at first sight. At Whittman, Eli meets 41- year-old freshman Leo Searly. Leo, a gambler whose world has imploded, has dropped out of life to enroll in college. This odd duo becomes unlikely friends.
Nate’s Notes: So is this… Rushmore set in College? With a younger Bill Murray character? Its really striving to have “quirky” be a leading adjective for this film. Does it succeed? Maybe. I wasn’t really knocked out by any of the jokes in the trailer. Yeah, the kids’ hair is big, but I’ve seen my fair share of rasta-hipsters so I’m really not overwhelmed comically. Good to see Fraser again having fun, though this might be his fourth for fifth college-set movie. I’m… not in any rush to see this movie.
What’s It About? Kids For Cash is a riveting look behind the notorious judicial scandal that rocked the nation. Beyond the millions paid and high stakes corruption, Kids For Cash exposes a shocking American secret. In the wake of the shootings at Columbine, a small town celebrates a charismatic judge who is hell-bent on keeping kids in line…until one parent dares to question the motives behind his brand of justice. This real life thriller reveals the untold stories of the masterminds at the center of the scandal and the chilling aftermath of lives destroyed in the process – a stunning emotional roller coaster.
Nate’s Notes: I don’t watch many documentaries. Mostly because a lot of them have agendas. Or they are painfully obvious propaganda. Or, and this is where I fail as a human being, they straight up bum me out. How many documentaries are about stuff being cool? Not many. As for Kids For Cash… its not a surprise. America, as a nation, has the highest percentage of its own population incarcerated. In the world. Think about how stupid that is. Somebody must be making money, because why would we do that? Other than the usual apathy we throw off, that is, which is quite a lot of apathy. If you want a good rush of outrage, this is your flick. Enjoy! …and then quickly become depressed.
What’s It About? A mistaken delivery in Mumbai’s famously efficient lunchbox delivery system connects a young housewife to an older man in the dusk of his life as they build a fantasy world together through notes in the lunchbox.
Nate’s Notes: A touching movie… With Food! Maybe they’ll be “just friends.” I wonder how friendships between a married woman and a single dude are viewed in India? Probably the same here. I’m in no rush to watch this movie, but I wouldn’t be against seeing it either. Plus, I really do want to see what food she makes. If there’s no porn in this movie, there better be Food Porn at least!
What’s It About? An air marshal springs into action during a transatlantic flight after receiving a series of text messages that put his fellow passengers at risk unless the airline transfers $150 million into an off-shore account.
Nate’s Notes: I’ll save you some time with one question: “Do you like Liam Neeson?” If no, then just mosey on down the road to some other movie. If your answer was “HECK YES WITH ICE CREAM ON TOP!” then you’re probably me. Who’s going to see this movie. Because Liam is MAH BOY! The dude makes every movie he is in (And that’s getting to be a lot, to the point that he might be giving Malcolm McDowell a run for his money), Neeson gives it his best performance every time. He elevates whatever movie he is in. I will not “Stop”… till I watch this movie! See what I did there?
What’s It About? A successful author and spiritual adviser takes on a troubled man as a client, completely unaware that the man’s fixation on his mother’s death will soon put his life in jeopardy.
Nate’s Notes: Forest Whitaker is a great actor. No doubt about that. But the dude is a little scary looking. So, yeah, this movie looks like it can be pretty intense. And what will The Falcon do to get out of this mess? (Anthony Mackie plays The Falcon in the second upcoming Captain America movie). If you feel like watching something scary, and pretty obviously similar to Misery, then this is the movie for you.
What’s It About? The life story of Jesus is told from his humble birth through his teachings, crucifixion and ultimate resurrection.
Nate’s Notes: I ain’t religious. So… I’m not gonna see this movie. I saw Passion of the Christ which pretty much maxed out my “Extremely Religious Torture Porn” card for films. Of course, this trailer seems to be about more than Jesus’ death and more about his teachings so that’s nice. And it also looks beautifully shot. So there’s the nice stuff I can say. This is a movie that you should make up your own mind about. I’m biased in that I have no interest in seeing this story again. I’m still waiting for the official story of Jesus from age 5 to 20, but I guess I’ll be waiting a long time for that movie, won’t I?
What’s It About? A band of Russian soldiers fight to hold a strategic building in their devastated city against a ruthless German army, and in the process become deeply connected to two Russian women who have been living there.
Nate’s Notes: Russia’s highest grossing movie (since Night Watch held that title)! It looks action packed and sleek. Kind of like their version of Saving Private Ryan. Being an American, I really have very little knowledge of Russia’s side of World War II. Not that I expect to get a clear-cut version of that history in this movie, but its always interesting to see what parts of the war are skewed or completely different from another culture’s perspective. Even if that perspective is taking artistic licenses and has just of touch of 300 in its visual narrative. But still… stuff blowing up, man! I’m down.
What’s It About? In a California desert town, a short-order cook with clairvoyant abilities encounters a mysterious man with a link to dark, threatening forces.
Nate’s Notes: Anton Yelchin is magic. I just like the dude. I loved him in Fright Night, and the studios seemed to notice that and transplanted him right into Odd Thomas. I’ve never read the books that this movie is based on, but my mom absolutely adores this series, by writer Dean Koontz. And who else can you trust more than your own mom? Ain’t nobody, no how! Will Hollywood F**K this up too? Possibly. But I’m seeing enough charm from Yelchin, and enough stuff that reminds me of The Frighteners, that I am definitely going to watch this movie in theaters.
Okay, well there ya have it! 11 films this week, the last week of February! I’ve been your substitute Looker Aheader, thank you for looking ahead at these movies with me. Agent Justin should be recovering from the chloroform by now, so I’m sure he’ll be back at the helm next week! Until then, keep watching movies! Because if you don’t, then what can we possibly talk about during awkward conversations? Your degree in English and how its opening doors for you? HA!