Earl is an LA-born actor/improviser that wants desperately to be loved. Hah, not really. He'll eat all your leftovers if you're not careful. He's done it before. Tweets at @earl_baylon. Earl Baylons at earlbaylon.com. Tumblrs at Nerdoholic.


Hi, I’m Agent Earl. I’m like Agent Justin, but a touch less nice, or that’s what I tell myself. So, you wanna see a movie this week, eh?

Gone Girl



What’s it about? With his wife’s disappearance having become the focus of an intense media circus, a man sees the spotlight turned on him when it’s suspected that he may not be innocent.

My Thoughts Well, it is a David Fincher film, I tend to like those.  And I like Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike… for dinner, buwahaha. Sorry, sorry, I just had pizza, and I’m still thinking about food.  From the looks of the trailer, the film really captures the feeling/environment that behooves a film of this subject matter. Also, the screenplay was adapted by Gillian Flynn, the author of the source novel, herself, so that definitely eliminates a degree of separation, which often times can kill an adaptation. I like it.


The Good Lie


What’s it about? Sudanese refugees given the chance to resettle in America arrive in Kansas, where their encounter with employment agency counselor forever changes all of their lives.

My thoughts? If I have to watch another enlightened westerner teaches backwards foreigners to assimilate into western culture movie, I’m going to poop out an entire dwarf on the hood of some random person’s truck. Fortunately, that doesn’t quite seem the case with this film. While the marketing campaign seems to paint a picture of the aforementioned movie, reviewers say it’s misleading, and Witherspoon isn’t the central focus. Instead, it really is a rather serious story of 3 Sudanese boys fleeing a war-torn homeland and finding success through their own self-determination… with the help of Reese Witherspoon.  I’ve never seen the work of director Philippe Falardeau, but reading a more accurate breakdown of the plot definitely makes me want to watch this film.





What’s it about? A couple begin to experience terrifying supernatural occurrences involving a vintage doll shortly after their home is invaded by satanic cultists.

My thoughts? I, admittedly, am not a big fan of horror movies. Well, I should say I’m not a big fan of current horror films, the kind you see splattered across Netflix like a Jackson Pollock piece, though less coherently. They’ve not only grown formulaic in their storytelling, but soulless in their execution. So, when films like Insidious and The Conjuring come along, it makes me feel a little better about the genre (which I loved so much in earlier decades). With marketing touting Annabelle as a spin-off of The Conjuring, my interest is piqued. And is further piqued by this trailer. John R. Leonetti, the man who did the cinematogrphy for The Conjuring helmed this one, and it’s easy to see in the trailer’s presentation. Count me in.

Also fuck dolls, burn them all.

Burn dolls: Prevent horror films.


Men, Women, & Children


What’s it about? A group of high school teenagers and their parents attempt to navigate the many ways the Internet has changed their relationships, their communication, their self-image, and their love lives.

My thoughts? Oh, Jason Reitman. He’s never made a film that I think has completely sucked. That’s a pretty darn awesome batting average, I have to say. And if that’s all this film had going for it, I’d still say it’s worth a watch. The trailer looks like a lot of fun, though. I feel like I’m going to cover my face and squirm in commiseration at least 24 times over the course of this film. What strikes me about the trailer is how honest the film feels – like, an honest look at human interaction and how it’s assimilated digital forms of communication. Yes, perhaps these characters could possibly be a bit stylized, but you can still be stylized and honest at the same time.


Left Behind


What’s it about? A small group of survivors are left behind after millions of people suddenly vanish and the world is plunged into chaos and destruction.

My thoughts? Wait, didn’t this film come out like 5 years ago? No, not this particular one, but yes, there was a Left Behind starring Mr. Crocoduck himself, Kirk Cameron.  Well folks, this is a newer adaptation of the eponymous Rapture narrative book, this time with Nicolas Cage front manning. I’m just gonna say this flat out. I’m not watching this film, unless I find a free copy sitting in a Wal-Mart parking lot, or something. Despite the fact that this film has a budget thrice as large as the first film, $15 million just isn’t quite enough for something of this scope. You can see the budget in the trailer, in the odd airplane CGI and the equally odd burning city vista at the end. Plus, if I feel like I’m being skull-tapped with a message just in the trailer, yeah… no thanks. Not even the Cage can save this.


The Blue Room (Le Chambre Bleue)


What’s it about? A man and a woman, secretly in love, alone in a room. They desire each other, want each other, and even bite each other. In the afterglow, they share a few sweet nothings. At least the man seemed to believe they were nothing. Now under investigation by the police and the courts, what is he accused of?

My thoughts? I, surprisingly, am down for this. Yet another adaptation on this week’s movie list, but the premise sounds intriguing, and if that really loud, epic score is in the film, then that’s reason enough for me. Also, I haven’t seen a French film in a while, I love me a good atmospheric mystery, and blue is totally my favorite color. Sometimes I’m not complicated.


The Hero of Color City


What’s it about? A diverse band of crayons strive to protect not only their magical multihued homeland but the imagination of children everywhere from a terrifying monster.

My thoughts?  Lordy, look at that cast. I would so watch something live action with all of them. I’m frightened as hell that if I watch this, I’m going to overdose on crayon-based puns, like the trailer featured, “Crayonimoooo!!” While the human animation looks a bit terrifying in its… well, it’s just a tad unnatural, the crayon stuff doesn’t look to bad at all. And I actually really like the designs and concept of the movie’s big bads. He’s an unfinished drawing, out to deprive the crayons of their color. Oh my gods, it’s like Rebootbut with crayons!

I’m going to do recreational drugs and watch this movie one day.

Whattya think about this week’s releases? Sound off in the comments.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *