Hey GUARDians! Can you believe it’s been an entire year since we here at Agents of GUARD started our little venture? Crazy, right? Besides thanking all of you for reading our quasi-sane ramblings over the last 365, each of the Agents wanted to take a moment to say their piece about their experiences, thus far.
Thank you, everyone… special shout out to our Reserve Agents, Jamal Almustapha and Andrew Linde! Here’s to many more years for Agents of GUARD!
In a year, people can change or they can stay exactly the same. GUARD has been a place to talk about geeky things as soon as they happen, or to address the meta geek concerns of the world. For me GUARD has been a way to explore my geek identity and put my thoughts into words. The site has been growing and changing every month and I’m really excited by the changes that I know are coming and even more excited by the things that I don’t know about. The website has been getting more and more views and I think that’s because our fellow geeks can see the enthusiasm that we as agents have. We are Geeks United And Really Determined. We are GUARD.
A little over a year ago, Agents of GUARD (dot com!) was just a little dream my friends and I had. Just for fun… heck, just because it was US, we would inevitably delve into passionate discussions about everything geek, pop culture, or just plain interesting to us. And every time, I wish we had an outlet to collect all our talks. Though I would like to control the volume, because geeks and loudly stating their geek opinions only increases unto sonic boom proportions.
And thus Agents of GUARD was born!
At first, it was just “GUARD,” but we being of rock solid forethought decided to change it to “Agents of GUARD” because we didn’t want to be confused with the then upcoming Marvel TV show “SHIELD.” It wasn’t until we had already bought the site that the show then changed their name to “Agents of SHIELD.” Oh well…
And that anecdote is about how cool we are and how everybody be biting our style.
GUARD is very near and dear to my heart. It isn’t just articles, or daydreaming about geek culture, or even escapism. For me, GUARD and all the fun I have writing for this site, is all due to the six other writers/agents:
Agent Justin with his consistent and intelligent reviews, and honest love, of movies.
Agent Aaron for his analytical, thoughtful, and heartfelt passion.
Agent Denise for her exuberant and lovable energy, and vast knowledge of all comics.
Agent Bobby for hands down one of my favorite voices to read on the site.
Agent Pat for the best balance of well-earned rage and love of comic books and pop culture.
And Agent Earl for being Superman. GUARD exists because of his sheer will making it exist.
The only thing that I knew for sure a year after creating, running, and stressing out about GUARD is that these Agents… these writers… these friends have made it incredible each and every day. I thank them. I like them. And I respect the hell out of them.
And as for you, gentle reader…? Aw what the heck, you’re pretty damn cool yourself! And because of that coolness? A special treat from just prior to GUARD’s beginning… an out of context pic of our secret GUARD Dance-Off Initiation:
So what is GUARD? For me, it could be:
New blogs like ours don’t last as long as six months. Imagine my shock to realize that by six months in, we have the same enthusiasm for writing on this site. Just like we did in the beginning. As we hit our one year mark, we still are excited to be writing on Agents of GUARD. We still look forward to each others work, we still support each other, and we are amazed and honored to have an audience that is still growing. Thank you again for reading, you Glowing Ultimate Armored Radical Demigods.
Words like “beacon of culture” and “unparalleled source for geek perspectives” are so weak to describe the greatness of which this site has been sharing. And though our contribution to the annals of time are the greatest of achievements, the polite thing to do would be to graciously thank our readership for reading articles that will literally reshape history and forever alter fandom. We few humble servants will endeavor to maintain our mounting incredibleness, not because it is the right thing to do, but because it is the easy thing to do. And know that everyday that you, dear reader, open the site to find that fresh article, know that there are few others still alive today that so perfectly capture the human condition as the contributers to GUARD. This year was incredible for you, I know, but imagine the epicness of the next 366–because we at GUARD are so great, we had to make another day for our excess greatness. Now Go Upward And Reap Destiny!
Feliz Cumpleanos, Agents of GUARD! That’s right, it’s been an entire 52 weeks or so of complete and utter excellence. I’m Agent Bobby, serial number 021-BCJ, and I’m the writer who talks about Star Wars too much. I could tell you about what an amazing year it’s been, but you were probably there. Instead, here’s a paragraph written only from dick jokes I’ve made this year:
“The script is clearly trying to make him a snarky and charming dick, but he comes off like a smartass who’s been tranq-darted in the neck. And what’s the difference between Batman and a psychotic dick? The suit. I’m a “dick joke, dick joke, rake bit, Rescue Ranger reference, dick joke and I’M OUT” kind of guy. The Feds want to end things calmly with Michael, but they think Trevor is going to cock it up. Come back next week for Part 2 of: Really Fucking Depressing Information, written by the guy who usually does the dick jokes. Plus brass balls that could tear a pair of Dockers in half like they were made of wet Kleenex. There’s too many wangs, is what I’m saying. Wang means penis. Dicks. He’d make a Buddhist monk turn to axe-murder and mop sodomy of said hillbilly dick-nozzle. Expect lots of anachronistic-but-rad technology, Nazis, and nerd-boners. Or just regular boners. Dicks. Whatever. She’s great. They say smell is the sense tied to memory, but “they’re” wrong, like they were wrong about Narnia being real. Those dicks. The story follows customizable hero Commander Shepard, who can be a guy or a girl, white or black (BLACK SHEP!), good or evil, nice or super-dick. It’s the same reason Bruce Willis was a dick to an interviewer a few weeks ago (that, and Bruce Willis is a dick).”Twilight comparisons? Oh what the dick. Lex Luthor is doing something dicky again.” Thank you for your time.
GUARD: Gussied Up And Referencing Dicks
Before, behind, betwixt, beneath, behold!
A site most new was born one year anon.
Its words so brave, its gleaming candor bold,
Its subjects broad, which we all write upon.
But how to celebrate such blessed time?
With words so wrought upon this empty space?
If words fall short they tarry into crime!
And sully so good candor’s gleaming face.
Fear not, sirrah, my happy quill is sharp!
The words flow quickly down upon the page.
Glad thoughts fly free like notes of cupid’s harp.
And take glad place like actors on a stage.
Prithee, hold cup and raise it high good sirs.
For when such Geeks Unite, All Rage Defers.
It’s been a big year. Despite my love of writing I was struggling with motivation until these guys put together the idea of this site. I didn’t know what to contribute since I’m not much of a reviewer or an expert on anything except maybe cute sidekicks with great hair. Instead I wrote about what I did know, my experience as a counter girl for a local comic shop. And when I had to stop that and decided to spew my frivolous thoughts on TV shows and X-Men and boys you continued to read which blows my mind. Thank you for not throwing rocks when I talk about nice butts and mermaid hair and teen dramas. Great Underwater Architecture Remained Defiant.