Top Ten Lessons For Time Travelers from DC’s Legends of Tomorrow

Are you a time traveler, or have you ever wanted to become one? DC’s Legends of Tomorrow has many great lessons that we can learn from in order to be pro time travelers just like them!

10. It’s OK to change the timeline really drastically as long as you plan to change it back. Good intentions are all that matter! Kill anyone…except baby Hitler!

9. Get involved in every single event that you possibly can in the times that you travel to. In fact, the bigger the better! Arms deals? Sure! Becoming the town sheriff? Why not! Curing a disease incurable for the time? Heck yes!

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I’m actually at a loss for words.

8. A great way to keep yourself entertained while time traveling is to plan a grand heist to every period you visit. Just ask Captain Cold how that is going for him!

7. Abducting your past self is a great way to avoid future problems. Sure, if you keep your past self kicking around your time ship long enough there’s a chance they might not exist in their timeline and lead to paradoxical complications… but we’re willing to take a little risk here or there! Plus, what’s better than one Captain Cold? Two Captain Colds, obviously.

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Little bratty Cap’n Cold. Wait, the other one is kind of bratty too…

6. Injuring your past self is also a great way to avoid problems. Because that guy was a jerk. So you caused him to miss that crucial moment when he met his wife… worse things have happened, right?

5. Ignore any and all advice from any other version of yourself you might meet. That bitch was reincarnated fewer times than you. Even if she’s lived longer, she doesn’t know a thing!

4. If someone finds out about your time-traveling exploits, it’s okay! Just erase their memory. Rip says there’s a pill for that!

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“They’re pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. So if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give ’em one of these, and they forget the whole thing. It’s a mainstay of the magician’s toolkit, like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.” -Gob from Arrested Development on Rip Hunter’s Forget-Me-Nows

3. Don’t pay any mind to the social and societal norms of times you travel to. All you need to blend in is the right clothes. Let’s not even think about the fact that we’re sending a black guy out in the US before the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was passed and that it might be personally dangerous for him, or the fact that our bisexual superhero is a little overt in her actions in the 1950’s. Because that might not get anyone killed or endanger the timeline at all!

DC's Legends of Tomorrow -- "Night of the Hawk" -- Image LGN108b_0126.jpg -- Pictured (L-R): Franz Drameh as Jefferson "Jax" Jackson and Melissa Roxburgh as Betty-- Photo: Katie Yu/The CW -- © 2016 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

The show awkwardly both avoids and showcases race and gender issues in past times without saying anything profound.

2. When discovered, the best thing to do is to act as suspiciously as possible. None of this begin crap that looks real like “Oh gosh, where’s my key card? I must have misplaced it.” but spread your wings and start kicking butts. It will make you look cool, and will only maybe probably make things worse. But looking cool is the priority here.

1. The surest path to stopping an evil like Vandal Savage is to get a bunch of mediocre superheroes together randomly all from the same point in time which is a different point in time from where you are and to tell them that they can help you because their lives are so insignificant. Sounds like a winning team right there! Let’s not get anyone who can actually get the job done and instead just choose heroes who end up making not much of a mark. Forget dropping Vandal Savage off on the moon or in the vacuum of space with your fucking time ship- it’s just too obvious.

Sarah Wiezel

About Sarah Wiezel

Agent Sarah writes on Tuesdays for Agents of GUARD and covers Arrow, console games, anime, and whatever else sounds appealing at the moment. She has a day job in the software industry and thinks cereal is overrated.