Sarah Wiezel

Agent Sarah writes on Tuesdays for Agents of GUARD and covers Arrow, console games, anime, and whatever else sounds appealing at the moment. She has a day job in the software industry and thinks cereal is overrated.

Agent Sarah here! Recently, Agent Nate posted a picture of some empty streets that definitely gave me the chills and made me think of a Zombie Apocalypse.

streets
This is seriously freaking me out right now.

With all the science fiction stories around Zombie Apocalypses, we tend to think what we might need or do should one such horrific event occur. In 2011 there was a huge power outage for a large chunk of Southern California for almost 12 hours. Credit cards couldn’t be used, people were left for hours and hours in traffic jams, many people were stuck in elevators and couldn’t get out, food was spoiling, and gas became a commodity. It definitely made me think about what I’d need to prepare for the worst (and I was feeling more than a little paranoid since I myself was stranded in my car for several hours in a parking lot.) I wasn’t the only one thinking about a zombie-filled future, either- the parking lot that I was stuck in had several groups of people talking about the best places to go should a zombie virus get unleashed.

I decided to ask a few of our agents what the #1 most important item in their own zombie apocalypse survival kit would be. Here are the responses:

Agent Nate: “Toilet Paper.”

Not that single ply nonsense, either.

I think that we perhaps can all agree that this does not require further elaboration. However, if you find yourself with questions, I’m sure Nate would be happy to discuss the matter with you.

Agent Patrick: “Okay wow…that is a heavy topic. One thing? Ho boy. Water purifier.

Yum.

I know every time people talk about the zombie apocalypse they only want to hear one thing, weapon of choice.  Trust me, from somebody who had to drink stream water on a camping trip, diarrhea is the most embarrassing way to die.  A simple water pump or even iodine tablets will keep a person alive with astounding results.  But don’t worry, I’ll find some armament in the wasteland.  After all, most abandoned cars have tire irons.”

Agent Earl: “+5 Holy Vorpal Avenger. Or an Ang Khola Khukuri. Either way, we are so surviving.

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I say one of these two because I can’t realistically make either of them. Blacksmithery is not a skill I posses. Everything else required for survival, can be gotten/fashioned with a good blade. With a good blade, I can make shelter, start a fire, and yup even make a water purifier.  Maybe the +5 Holy Vorpal Avenger is a bit overkill, especially considering the fact that I’m not actually a Paladin and much of its power would go untapped. But, come on, automatic decapitation at 18-20!

I guess the Ang Khola Khukuri would be more practical. You can chop wood with this thing and still do other knife-y things that you would be able to accomplish with an axe.”

Agent Sarah: “Cash.

dolla

Mind you, cash is not a great long-term strategy. A few days into the zombie apocalypse it will probably lose its value and nobody will be using currency, given that so many things will be needed. However, as soon as the electricity starts going out and everyone starts running out to stock up on things, cash will be a commodity because people don’t really carry it anymore and credit card readers won’t work. While there is still a little bit of societal structure remaining, cash will give me a huge advantage to buy whatever it is I need to grab (gas for my car? first aid kit? toilet paper??) Then my cash will run out, just like everyone else’s and I’ll have to barter for other things…”

What’s in YOUR zombie apocalypse survival kit?

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